A post from lunch-break/Pitchfork Music reviews

I am now living in a reality in which I have a "lunch break". That is, I actually get a full, paid hour to consume nutrients and waste time. At my past, pre-college jobs, a "lunch break" was usually when my underpaid supervisor told me to get a Diet-Rite from 2003 and a pack of crushed Cheez-Its from the sticky-with-old pop vending machine.

So what to talk about? How about Pitchfork Music reviews, and my beef with them. For those who don't know, pitchfork.com is the first source to go to for snobby news and reviews on trendy, annoying indie music. First, an example statement from a Pitchfork review:

"The initial fantasy of Funeral was escaping the neighborhood, dancing beneath the police lights, and living on misbehavior."
                                                                                 -Pitchfork on Arcade Fire's first album

What?! This is ridiculous. While I'm all for detailed descriptions of music, this is just annoying. I think the most obnoxious phrase in this is "dancing beneath the police lights". "Living on misbehavior" takes a close second, but I'll skip whining about it. What is that? When does that happen? How can police lights be danced under? They're on top of cars! Unless by police lights they mean the giant spotlight, Bat-signal things. But those only really seem to exist in cartoons. Or maybe they do exist and I just don't know about them. Anyway, I doubt that the type of people that listen to Arcade Fire have ever commited a crime where during the crime they said things like "Oh isn't this so beautiful to be chased and wanted?" or something equally pretentious and they had so much joy inside them they just "couldn't help but dance under the police lights". Gimme a break!

While hardly modest, Delorean have toned down their anthems, so that much of Subiza feels like a very tiny, very personal rave.
                                                                  -Pitchfork on Delorean's album, Subiza

You know Pitchfork, you hit the nail on the head. As I sit there listening to Delorean's latest album, I just couldn't figure out what it sounded like. Then it began to piece together. 'This sounds like a rave! By golly, a good old fashioned rave!" but still, still something was missing in my description. I yearned for the verbal prowess to describe this album, but it just wasn't happening. But you, Pitchfork, you did it! YOU'RE RIGHT! IT DOES SOUND LIKE A VERY TINY, VERY PERSONAL RAVE!

Ridiculous.

Now, I hope you guys all know that I am just doing what I do best- I am just delighting myself in my perverse pleasure to tear apart media. The truth is I love Pitchfork, and it usually is where I go to find out about new bands. Once in a while though, the pretentiousness of the sight reaches a boiling point for me and I thought I'd share it with you. I could go on and find more ridiculous statements, but alas, I must get back to my duties. BUT HOW COOL IS THIS? I CAN BLOG DURING LUNCH BREAK?!

BLARG

Alright alright here's a quick update:

1.Scott Pilgrim was excellent.
2. The new Arcade Fire album feels just like the rest of the Arcade Fire albums to me: the first song is awesome and makes you think you are about to hear the album of your life, and then there are 3 other songs on the album that are ok and the rest are boring. Don't get me wrong, I like Arcade Fire, but it seems that if you bought a "best of" cd from them, that would be all that you need. They suffer from a lot of filler on their albums.
3. I think I need to watch new kinds of anime. For the past year and a half, I've been into giant robot shows and I think I need a break. It's time to watch something weird and psychological and/funny.
4. I finally got an HDTV and Netflix. I have watched plenty of great movies that I meant to blog on, but with me getting a full-time job, I haven't had the motivation.
5. Yeah.
6. I again skipped Lollapalooza.
7. I promise a long update soon when I am less tired.

Everyone has this picture in their house

I swear, every person between the ages of 18-35 who has their own apartment/house and is even remotely "hip" has this picture.  For those not as smart as me (I kid, I kid), the picture in question here is "Le Tournee du Chat Noir" (weird French accent things omitted because I don't feel like pressing 16 buttons). The picture is an iconic poster painted by Theophile Steinlen in the 1890's for some French cabaret club.

I will admit, the picture is pretty cool. Everyone knows I love cats, the font and lettering evokes images of a gritty nightlife scene, and the black cat juxtaposed against the yellow is a striking image. I might get this picture myself. Wait, no I won't.

This picture has become the French poster version of an early Beatles song: Every time you see it (or in the Beatle's case, hear it), it's great. However, you've seen/heard it 10,000 times already. The original meaning of the work has become nothing more than an automatic process in your brain whose relevancy is no longer meaningful. It's just not a powerful image anymore.

I see this picture in bathrooms. On refrigerators in magnet form. As the "avante-garde" finished basement poster. In dorm-rooms of people who went to France for five minutes (I've done the same, so I can't talk). As a purse. AS A SHOWER CURTAIN!

I've noticed that females tend to be the perpetrators putting these things up. Is it just me, or is every female obsessed with pictures of Paris and other French decorations? The other day I was at Ikea and observed two twenty-something females by a large picture of the Eiffel tower saying "Oh, this is cute!" Another popular picture is a photo of the Eiffel tower taken from a weird angle (underneath, out a hotel window, through an archway). My own wife is notorious for Francophile stuff in my apartment!- currently there is a map of Paris in bulletin board form and a poster in French about the Eiffel tower at the Universal Exposition in the 1800s. WHAT IS THE FASCINATION WITH PARIS, LADIES?! I've been there, and of course I loved it. It was one of the coolest places I've ever been to. But what's with girls who haven't been there being fascinated by it?

Don't worry, I'm not going to judge you an uninteresting bore if you have this picture. You probably thought "Hey, I'm in Paris and a street vendor is selling this. Why not get it and put it in my house?". Or you were at Pier One Imports or Bombay Company (does that store still exist?) and thought "Oooooh! This is international and sexy. I MUST HAVE IT!. I thought the same thing when I was in Paris, but upon realizing that the picture is sold at every street vendor, the memetic stomachache I described two paragraphs above set in. I couldn't have it- I was sick of it, and because everyone else had it I didn't want it.

Whenever I wear an article of clothing/display something in my home, I aim to get something that few or no people have. Perhaps this is the obnoxious hipster inside of me that I am trying to kill coming out, or perhaps I'm just an elitist jerk. I think I prefer the latter. Because of this, I will never display Chat Noir in my home. My wife actually tried to put up a miniature picture of it the other day, and I cried foul.

I have no idea what point I am trying to make in this blog. It was an idea that was spinning around in my head all day and I thought "Hey, this would make an ok blog post!" Feel free to share your love/disdain for the picture, or me, in the comments section