I Hate the Radio.

Good evening everybody. It's been too long and all that. I come to you tonight to write about something of grave importance to us all. It's a matter that is to be taken very seriously so I'll need your full undivided attention. You may even want to take a seat, because the news may be difficult.

I. Hate. The. Radio.

To be quite honest, I'd like to use a few expletives in the previous statement as descriptives to show much I hate the radio, but I'll forgo that in the interest of public taste. In the mean time, just imagine the previous statement laced with horrible words of your choosing.

You know the feeling you got as a kid when you were rough housing with your sibling and he accidentally hit you in the nose and you became filled with rage? That's the feeling I get whenever I hear a Top 40 station, except it's that feeling for 8 hours on end.

I suppose a narrative may be necessary to provide the kind reader with some background here. I currently work in an office with 6 other women (my wife included), myself being the only male. These women all insist on listening to the same radio stations without fail everyday: Power 96.5, which is a Top 40 station that is repetitive even by Top 40 standards, and Alice 95.5, which claims to play "90's, 2K, and Today!". What this really means is that the station plays all the same songs as Power 96.5, but will play "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer or "How to Save a Life" by the Fray once in a while.

 On a tangential note, "How to Save a Life" may be in my top 10 most hated songs of all time. I blame this mostly on a guy that lived in the dorm above me my freshman year that would play it on repeat in the morning, afternoon, night, and when I was trying to put my beaten soul to sleep. Seriously, if I'm ever detained at Guantanamo Bay, they will play this song on repeat to torture me, and I'm sad to say I'll break.

These stations each play the same 10 songs over, and over, and over, throughout the 8 hours I am there. My coworkers continue to work on happily as if they are not in the auditory prison that I am-how can they function as this madness is playing? How many times can I hear Adam Levine say "I'm at a payphone, trying to call home all of my change I spent on you!" in his horrible harpy voice? Or Taylor Swift tell me 1700 times about how we are never, ever, ever getting back together? Not to mention Taio Cruz telling me that sometimes he likes to throw his hands up in the air, and says aaaaio gotta let go. Don't even get me started on Adele- she's a fantastic artist, but if I ever hear "Rolling in the Deep" again I will have a mental breakdown. Bonus round: What the heck does Fun mean when they say "My seat's been taken by some sunglasses, talkin' bout a scar" in "We Are Young"? You see what I mean people? I've heard these songs so many times I'm starting to analyze individual lyrics. Meanwhile, beads of sweat are forming all over my body, a visible vain appears in my forehead, and my eyes widen as I am reduced to a state of primal fury after being antagonized by the same songs all day. It will only take me hearing "Girl, look at that body" for the beast within to break free and turn my office into a pile of shredded office furniture.

Sometimes, my coworkers allow me to change the radio station. "Fine" I think, "Anything is better than this drivel". Springfield doesn't have the best variety of radio stations, so I decide on one of the two classic rock stations in town. It's the case of out of the frying pan into fire- I am treated to AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long", Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll" and Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell", and again, these are played on constant cycles throughout the day. I want to drive over to the radio station, launch my car through the wall in an over the top fashion and fly out of my vehicle, shouting "YOU HAVE 40 YEARS OF EXCELLENT MUSIC TO CHOOSE FROM! WHY DO YOU KEEP PLAYING THE SAME TEN SONGS?" I then want to wrench the DJ's out of their chairs and play David Bowie's "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders from Mars" in its entirety, some lesser known Queen Hits, or other songs from Pink Floyd instead of "Comfortably Numb", "Wish You Were Here" and "Another Brick in the Wall". Don't get me wrong people, these are wonderful songs, but familiarity breeds contempt, and that contempt has been born, gone through puberty and is now an adult. An adult that I hate.

If you can believe it, sometimes I switch to country radio, as my coworkers tend to like it. I dislike country music, but most of the country music stations in Springfield are locally owned and operated, and thus don't play the same songs over and over. It's also fun to hear the local element- there are reports on the price of cattle, advertisements for feed auctions, and farmers discussing drought conditions. I can respect this.

This brings me to my next point. As some of you may know, most of the radio stations in this country are operated by an evil corporation called Clear Channel. In the late 90's, Clear Channel came to power because Bill Clinton signed an act deregulating the airwaves from corporate takeovers.The result was that big business won and ate everything. Clear Channel's approach to radio is to do market research to find the most popular songs possible in every genre of radio station, and keep pumping in these songs incessantly. Most live DJs have been eliminated as they are deemed to expensive, and much of the playlist you hear is the result of a computer picking tracks based on algorithms of what's popular. The result is that radio stations all across the country are indistinguishable from one another, and many of the independently run radio stations have been bought out or closed down as they cannot compete. The few independent radio stations that are left use the same format as Clear Channel as this is what hooks listeners.

People today also listen to the radio differently than they did years ago. Most people just listen to the radio in the car. Radio stations know this, so they repeat songs so often because they have found that most people want to hear songs they know when they turn on their car radio as they drive over to pick up some diapers for their whining child.

Also, radio today is not targeted at people in my demographic anymore. I am a male in between the ages of 18-34, and research has shown that people in this demographic don't listen to the radio. They have found that males tend to be early adopters of technology, and are using things like Spotify, Pandora, Sirius, or plugging their Ipod into their car and listening to their own music. Thus, all of the terrible Matchbox 20 songs, Usher, and Black Eyed Peas tunes play constantly because women like this kind of music, and women are the people that are listening to the radio. NOT ME. So if you're a woman, thank you for bringing this blight upon mankind.

Part of the problem could be me. I am either blessed or cursed with a very good memory, so every lyric of every song I hear is instantly recorded into my brain. The lyrics are then stuck in my head, bouncing around like some sort of tiny demon. At times, I want to re-instate the practice of trepanning, the defunct Middle-Age science of drilling into the brains of mentally ill people. Maybe drilling a hole into my head will allow these abominable sounds to escape. In the best case, the songs will escape my head and I'll never hear them again. In the other best case, I'll die and never have to hear these songs again.

There is one ray of light in this sea of darkness for me: NPR. As soon as my fellow employees leave, I flip the dial over to that station and get to listen to their excellent news stories, interviews with scientists and policy makers, and on Friday nights, I get to discover new, eclectic music. This is how radio should be done, and I am earnestly considering supporting NPR as they provide a service I use regularly. NPR really improves my life- it introduces me to new ideas, and I feel like I learned something, even if I listen to it for five minutes. If you don't listen to NPR, I encourage you to check it out.

Throughout this whole thing, you may be asking, "Why don't you just listen to Pandora at work?". The answer is that my job blocks any online radio players, and there is no sound on our computers, so I am forced to listen to the radio.

Thus ends my rant! Let me know what you think of the current state of radio. I realize my criticisms are nothing new, but I've felt this way for a long time and had to get it out!

Thoughts on Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad is the greatest television show ever made. "This is the greatest x ever made" is a compliment that is abused these days, but I feel that Breaking Bad is the only contender that truly deserves the title.

For the past couple of years, I have been totally opposed to American T.V. drama. I blame this on a cocktail of watching Smallville, Lost, and Heroes from 2004-2006. I watched as these series dealt with endless monster of the week scenarios, introduced arbitrary mysteries to artifically advance the plot, suffered from unnaturaral character writing, and generally overstayed their welcome on television. Take Smallville for exmample: The show went on for ten seasons- that's ten years or more. If you've watched the show, you know that it's easy, mind-numbing television that doesn't have compelling dialogue. How it lasted ten years on television is beyond me, even as a fan of superheroes.

Television at it's finest.

The length of American television dramas is my major problem with them. Many of the times it seems that as long as there is a steady viewer base, more seasons keep getting made until all ideas are lost, the main characters have left the show for other pursuits and the few who remain are lifeless husks of their former selves. I've seen very few television programs aim to present, tight, pre-planned narratives.

I grew tired of spending hours and hours of my life to watch my favorite shows deteriorate. So in 2006, I declared I was done indefinitely with television dramas. I had been burned too many times, and there were plenty of movies, books and anime with satisfying conclusions to occupy my time with.

Breaking Bad turned my ideas on their heads.

Once again, for the rock dwellers out there, Breaking Bad is a television show on AMC that has aired since 2008. The basic premise of the show is that Walter White, a chemistry teacher, gets life threatening cancer and decides to create and sell meth with a former student of his, Jesse, in order to obtain enough money to support his family after he dies. Now that idea may seem silly- when I heard about the show when it first aired, I sure thought it was. Plus the main character is the same guy that plays the dad from Malcolm in the Middle. I don't know about you, but whenever I think of Malcolm in the Middle, I think of the episode where the dad was crushing things with a steam roller to release stress or something like that. How could Hal be trusted in a serious role?

So, a few weeks ago, on a cold January night, my wife and I found ourselves doing what many modern people do- lethargically browsing through our Netflix queue. We both weren't in the mood for a full length movie, but didn't want to watch anything vapid. I saw that Breaking Bad had been added. I have plenty of friends that were big fans of the show, and finally thought I'd give it a try. "Let's watch this, Loree" I said. "It's about making meth? That sounds ridiculous" she said, but she humored me anyway.

Well it wasn't ridiculous. We suddenly found ourselves violently thrown into the sad and chaotic world of Walter White, and before we'd known it, we had blasted through four episodes in a sitting.

Walter doesn't just make meth- he's slowly pulled into the world. The show doesn't glorify the drug trade, rather it shines a light it's horrors. The creator, director, and writer of the show, Vince Gilligan, stated that his goal with the show was to transform a kindhearted, mild mannered character into an absolute monster. His words were "I want to see Walter go from Mr. Chips to Scarface". The narrative and writing on the show is top-notch. Gilligan has set the show to run no more than five seasons, as he has a set story he wants to tell. I have never watched an episode that dragged or felt like filler. Every second on the show is filled with purpose.

Don't think that Gilligan does this in a contrived way. Breaking Bad is character study at it's finest-the main characters, Walter and Jesse, have changed so much by the end of the fourth season. Walter and Jesse's change doesn't happen rapidly, it's fluid, organic and totally believable.

Bare with me as I analyze a few of the show's  characters. I'm convinced that whole academic papers could be written on Walter and Jesse. Walter is a man trapped by society and obligation. Early on in the series, he gives a monologue that had me rapt in attention. Walter is forced to take part in an "intervention" from his family, where they confront him to get treatment for his cancer. Walter does not want to get the treatment because of his pride and because he does not want to take money from a wealthy couple that has offered to pay his way. After hearing his family give multiple, emotion laden reasons for him to get the treatment, Walter asks permission to speak. He says that his whole life, he has never had "a say" in anything he's ever done. He's a man that's been swept around the waves of life, hopelessly rowing against it. His job, his health, his family problems- all of these have been given to him against his will. He states that he's finally been given a choice, and he wants to choose not to get the treatment.

What makes this speech even better is the secret developments in Walter's life. He is becoming increasingly involved in the drug world, beginning shady and secretive dealings with a narcotics lord. Walter may have killed a man, too, and he's begun to waken a powerful, monstrous side of himself that he's both trying to restrain, but at the same time, he wants to unleash his new-found power. In Walter's secret life, he has power, purpose, and most importantly for him-choice.

Jesse Pinkman, his partner in crime, could also be dissected at length. Walter decides to work with Jesse after seeing him escape from a meth bust that he rides along on with his brother in law, Hank (another great character that I could write a whole entry about, but I won't). Jesse is a former student of Walter's, and it's shown that he's started selling meth with the self-styled title "Cap'n Cook". A bizzare kind of mentoring relationship begins to develop between the two. To me, Jesse's overall theme is entrapment, and being used by others.

Even though it's obvious that Walter cares for Jesse somewhat, he is ultimately a pawn to him. Walter frequently berates Jesse and orders him to do his "dirty work", like shaking down a customer who doesn't pay for their product. Jesse can easily choose not to obey "Mr. White" as he calls him, a by-product of Walter being his former teacher. However, we can see that Jesse is obviously desperate for approval-Mr. White is the father figure that he never had. Jesse grew up in a stable, middle class home, but never connected to his parents, and Walter, in his own way, fills that role. Jesse is often times at the wrong end of the beatings and attacks of multiple characters, and he knows this. He even tries to sell meth without Mr. White's help, but he ultimately fails. He knows that he is useless without others, and he is violently trying to rebel against being a pawn.

Walter's family life is explored with a sublety and grace that makes them feel like people you would know. Of particular note is Walter's son, Walter Jr. Walt Jr. is a teenage boy that has mild cerebral palsy, and is actually played by an actor with the disability. I'll admit, I have a soft spot for Walt Jr. as I've worked with people with disabilities before. He's not just the "token disabled character", he acts like a normal teenage boy, and that's what people with disabilities are-normal people with a few unfortunate setbacks in life. Walt is rude, grumpy, irritable, and sarcastic, like most 16 year old boys.

This picture was called "Heaven as imagined by Walt Jr." on Reddit.

That was a very brief description of some of the characters, as I don't want to spoil your enjoyment of them if you've never seen the show. I want to quickly explore one of the central themes of the show before I close this post.

There's a spiritual nature to the themes of Breaking Bad. Vince Gilligan is not a Christian or an Atheist, but he's said that that the show has been very spiritually taxing for him. He's inside the mind of a character who is gradually slipping into evil, giving up the good parts of himself and exchanging them for selfish, violent traits. Gilligan has said that one of the essential themes of the show is that every action that humans take must have consequences. Read this quote by him from an interview in the New York Times:

"If religion is a reaction of man, and nothing more, it seems to me that it represents a human desire for wrongdoers to be punished. I hate the idea of Idi Amin living in Saudi Arabia for the last 25 years of his life. That galls me to no end. I feel some sort of need for biblical atonement, or justice, or something. I like to believe there is some comeuppance, that karma kicks in at some point, even if it takes years or decades to happen. My girlfriend says this great thing that’s become my philosophy as well. 'I want to believe there's a heaven. But I can't not believe there's a hell."

Idi Amin

What a thought provoking statement, and a good one to keep in mind as the viewer watches. We know that Walter can't get away with his criminal behavior forever, he may be having great success, but at what cost? Walter knows that he is changing too, and his reactions vary. Sometimes he is empowered and proud of some of the more terrible things he has done, but when he thinks about them, he is filled with dread. There are frequently scenes in the show of Walter hanging his head in his hands, wondering what he is becoming and terrified of himself.

I also find the show compelling because of where I live in the country and the experiences I've had in my profession. I live in Missouri, which as of a few weeks ago is number 1 in the United States for meth lab seizures. I'm also in the human services profession, so I see many patients and families who's lives have been destroyed by meth. The culture of meth that Breaking Bad presents is frighteningly accurate to it's source material.

The show also does a subtle critique on the United States health system. Walter is forced to go and create meth to raise the thousands of dollars needed for his treatment and for his family's security. In other developed countries that have accessible and affordable health systems, the concept of a character experiencing the issues he does would be absurd.

Well, that's enough writing for today. I hope that you enjoyed this post, and please, if you haven't watched the show, please, please do. I tried to be as vague as possible in this entry so that you can enjoy the show as much as I have.

"Jesse, let's cook!"

Stay tuned

Don't think I've disappeared. I've been writing my next entry over the past couple of weeks, and I want to make sure it's perfect. I just wanted to make this entry to satisfy my neurotic need to update so I can feel like I got something done on here.